When Beth Teitell first learned she was pregnant, her mind raced with important questions: Does a handful of Milk Duds count as a serving of calcium? Where do movie stars buy their maternity clothes, and is $95 way too much to spend on a cotton T-shirt if you’re not routinely–okay, ever–photographed by paparazzi? Then, just as she was beginning to imagine her maternity leave as a long, paid vacation from work, a time to catch up on reading and old movies, she was caught completely off guard–by the arrival of a baby. And then the trouble really began.From Here to Maternity offers a hilarious, highly perceptive look at the experience of becoming a mom, exposing the secrets of modern parenting that your doctor will fail to warn you about and your fellow mothers will be too embarrassed to admit. From learning “The Rules” for playdating other mommies, to figuring out the New Mommy Math (a half hour of educational TV only counts as ten minutes toward your child’s daily allowance), Teitell explores what it’s like to be a mother in a culture responsible for strollers that cost as much as a month’s rent. Chock-full of practical advice on motherhood’s biggest challenges–what to sing if you don’t know any lullabies (the Brady Bunch theme song is a perfectly valid choice); the delicate art of picking up babysitters; and the ethics of returning a baby gift in order to buy yourself a little present with the merchandise credit–From Here to Maternity tells it like it is with consummate style and laugh-out-loud irreverence.A winning, utterly original look at the lighter side of the most serious job on earth, From Here to Maternity is the ultimate treat for mothers everywhere–second only to a hot bath and the phone number of a good babysitter. - from Amzon